Death Eater Training Guide
by Kyushina-Yumi
Summary: Have you ever wondered what it takes to become a Death Eater? Have you ever wondered what its like? Well, wonder no more, because Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange are here to explain it for you!
1. Admissions and Goals

The Death Eater Training Guide

**Contents:**

(Parentheses indicate who your narrator for the listed chapter will be/ bold print is the chapter you're on)

**I. Admissions/Goals (Lucius Malfoy)**

II. Dark Mark Care (Bellatrix Lestrange)

III. Muggle/Mudblood Slaughter Preparations (Bellatrix Lestrange)

IV. Wand Polishing (Lucius Malfoy)

V. How To Attend to the Dark Lord's Every Need (Lucius Malfoy)

VI. How to Properly Capture and Bind Prisoners (Guest Narrator Fenrir Greyback)

VII. Cruciatus Curse Usage (Bellatrix Lestrange)

VIII. Impeirus Curse Usage (Guest Narrator Draco Malfoy)

IX. How to Capture, not Kill Harry Potter (Guest Narrator Severus Snape)

X. How to Escape Azkaban (Bellatrix Lestrange)

XI. How to Continue Life as a Free, Happy, and Faithful Death Eater (Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange)

**I. Admissions/ Goals**

Hello all Dark Lord-followers! Congratulations on getting your very own copy of the Death Eater Training Guide! I am Lucius Malfoy, and I will be your narrator for this chapter and various others throughout this guide.

We will be studying **Admissions and Goals **for all people who wish to be Death Eaters.

To be an official Death Eather, you must be branded with the Dark Mark. To recieve the Dark Mark on your forearm, you must pledge your allegiance to the Dark Lord, pledge your hatred of Muggles, Mudbloods, Muggle-lovers, and blood traitors, and pledge that you will follow Voldemort's orders no matter how harsh they are or how hastily the decision was made.

Your goal as a Death Eater is to assist the Dark Lord in the following ways:

1. Capturing Harry Potter (you must not kill the boy, only bring him to the Dark Lord)

2. Controlling the Ministry of Magic

3. Wiping out most/all Muggles, Mudbloods, and blood traitors.

That is all there is to say in this chapter. I am turning things over to my associate, Bellatrix Lestrange, in this next chapter, **Dark Mark Care.**


	2. Dark Mark Care

The Death Eater Training Guide

**Contents:**

(Parentheses indicate your narrator for the chapter and bold print is the chapter you're on)

I. Admissions/Goals (Lucius Malfoy)

**II. Dark Mark Care (Bellatrix Lestrange)**

III. Muggle/Mudblood Slaughter Preparations (Bellatrix Lestrange)

IV. Wand Polishing (Lucius Malfoy)

V. How To Attend to the Dark Lord's Every Need (Lucius Malfoy)

VI. How to Properly Capture and Bind Prisoners (Guest Narrator Fenrir Greyback)

VII. Cruciatus Curse Usage (Bellatrix Lestrange)

VIII. Impeirus Curse Usage (Guest Narrator Draco Malfoy)

IX. How to Capture, not Kill Harry Potter (Guest Narrator Severus Snape)

X. How to Escape Azkaban (Bellatrix Lestrange)

XI. How to Continue Life as a Free, Happy, and Faithful Death Eater (Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange)

**II. Dark Mark Care**

Hello, readers! I am Bellatrix Lestrange, and this is is chapter 2: **Dark Mark Care**. If you think that all there is to having a Dark Mark is just to get it branded into your forearm, then you're WRONG!!!

After recieving the Dark Mark, you're forearm will be very _**swollen and sore **_for about 2 weeks, and shall prevent you from channeling your magic through any wand or other instrument. To shorten this magic-on-hold period _**by about one week**_, rub some _**Hag-Brewed Witch Hazel**_ on the spot where the Dark Mark is.

After your 1 to 2 week waiting period is over, you are ready to start assisting the Dark Lord! But, there is more to taking care of a Dark Mark than just applying Hag-Brewed Witch Hazel on your arm for the first 2 weeks! For about 2 months after the first 2 weeks after the Dark Mark has been branded onto you, you must alternate between_** massaging rubbing alchohol and baby oil **_into the mark.

After the first 2 months, you can use the Dark Mark to call the Dark Lord if he is needed.

This is all you beginning Death Eaters will need to know abot the Dark Mark! Join me again in the next chapter, **Muggle/Mudblood Slaughter Preparations, **and then back to Lucius in **Wand Polishing. **

Why do you need to know Wand Polishing? Heck, I don't know, _I'm _not a slave to the Dark Lord like Lucius is -- _I'm _his best leiutenant!!! Well, I will see you all in the next chapter!


	3. Mudblood n Muggle Slaughter Preparations

The Death Eater Training Guide

**Contents:**

(Parentheses indicate your narrator for the chapter and bold print is the chapter you're on)

I. Admissions/Goals (Lucius Malfoy)

II. Dark Mark Care (Bellatrix Lestrange)

**III. Muggle/Mudblood Slaughter Preparations (Bellatrix Lestrange)**

IV. Wand Polishing (Lucius Malfoy)

V. How To Attend to the Dark Lord's Every Need (Lucius Malfoy)

VI. How to Properly Capture and Bind Prisoners (Guest Narrator Fenrir Greyback)

VII. Cruciatus Curse Usage (Bellatrix Lestrange)

VIII. Impeirus Curse Usage (Guest Narrator Draco Malfoy)

IX. How to Capture, not Kill Harry Potter (Guest Narrator Severus Snape)

X. How to Escape Azkaban (Bellatrix Lestrange)

XI. How to Continue Life as a Free, Happy, and Faithful Death Eater (Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange)

**III. Muggle/Mudblood Slaughter Preparations**

Hello, it's Bellatrix Lestrange again, here to talk about the wonderful sport called Muggle-and-Mudblood Slaughter. However, it can be a little bit tricky. The main things that get Death Eaters into trouble most of the time are:

1. Muggles observe them murdering other Muggles

2. They are defeated by the Mudblood wizard/witch they are assigned to kill.

3. They accidentally kill a pureblood while trying to kill a Mudblood.(The Dark Lord does not like that!)

You need to be extra cautious when trying to kill a Mudblood. Mudbloods, however annoyingly accurate this fact may be, are still witches or wizards, have a wand, and can fight back if they're of age. Most Mudbloods have pureblood friends alongside them most of the time. You only want to attempt to murder a Mudblood if they're alone. If you're not too good with wandowork, wait until they're unarmed.

Muggles, easy as slaughtering them might seem, are more difficult han given credit for. When murdering a Muggle, you don't want other Muggles to witness the murder. If you're breaking into their home, try not to search for anything, and, if there was a struggle, the person you thought was a Muggle was actually a witch, or if they were a Squib, cover up all signs that there was a fight and make things look **exactly like they did when you entered the home. **

If you're ready to slaughter a Muggle/Mudblood, you must leave a note telling the Dark Lord that you're out of your office, otherwise he will be ticked, and could possibly fire or kill you. On any circumstance, leave a note saying you're out of office!!! If you do, kudos to you!!!

If you're going to slowly torture your victims before killing them, and plan on using curses such as Sectumsempra, douse your wand in a Repalling Potion to keep any blood from landing on your wand and giving evidence you killed such-and-such Muggle/Mudblood.

And, if you happen to feel like it, I assume the Dark Lord will let you take a few of your victim's things, if he finds it fitting. You want that nice Time-Turner the Mudblood Granger has? Ask the Dark Lord's permission to kill her, and the Time-Turner is yours!

That is all I have to say in this chapter; Lucius is going to narrate for you for the next two chapters, followed by **Fenrir Greyback, the werewolf, **as our guest narrator on the spiffing topic of binding prisoners. Ech, total bore. But, you'll have me in **Cruciatus Curse Usage **right after Greyback, so there's something you can look forward to.

This is Bellatrix Lestrange, signing out.


	4. Wand Polishing

The Death Eater Training Guide

**Contents:**

(Parentheses indicate who your narrator for the listed chapter will be/ bold print is the chapter you're on)

I. Admissions/Goals (Lucius Malfoy)

II. Dark Mark Care (Bellatrix Lestrange)

III. Muggle/Mudblood Slaughter Preparations (Bellatrix Lestrange)

**IV. Wand Polishing (Lucius Malfoy)**

V. How To Attend to the Dark Lord's Every Need (Lucius Malfoy)

VI. How to Properly Capture and Bind Prisoners (Guest Narrator Fenrir Greyback)

VII. Cruciatus Curse Usage (Bellatrix Lestrange)

VIII. Impeirus Curse Usage (Guest Narrator Draco Malfoy)

IX. How to Capture, not Kill Harry Potter (Guest Narrator Severus Snape)

X. How to Escape Azkaban (Bellatrix Lestrange)

XI. How to Continue Life as a Free, Happy, and Faithful Death Eater (Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange)

**IV. Wand Polishing**

Alright then, now our subject has changed to the forgotten art of wand polishing. The Dark Lord requires you keep his and your wands polished at all times.

The supplies you'll need is a regular rag, and Orange-Glo Wand Polish (not available in Australia or Canada).

You're going to want to take and squirt the Orange-Glo on the rag instead of the wand. This way, you can give it a streak-free polish like the Dark Lord wants.

It's tricky not to get fingerprints on the wands, so use latex gloves instead. If you are a very good wand polisher, you can recieve a job from the Dark Lord for wand polishing (it pays pretty well, I suppose).

This topic doesn't have much to say, so, I shall see you in the next chapter **How to Attend to the Dark Lord's Every Need. **


	5. How to Attend to the Dark Lord's Needs

The Death Eater Training Guide

**Contents:**

(Parentheses indicate who your narrator for the listed chapter will be/ bold print is the chapter you're on)

I. Admissions/Goals (Lucius Malfoy)

II. Dark Mark Care (Bellatrix Lestrange)

III. Muggle/Mudblood Slaughter Preparations (Bellatrix Lestrange)

IV. Wand Polishing (Lucius Malfoy)

**V. How To Attend to the Dark Lord's Every Need (Lucius Malfoy)**

VI. How to Properly Capture and Bind Prisoners (Guest Narrator Fenrir Greyback)

VII. Cruciatus Curse Usage (Bellatrix Lestrange)

VIII. Impeirus Curse Usage (Guest Narrator Draco Malfoy)

IX. How to Capture, not Kill Harry Potter (Guest Narrator Severus Snape)

X. How to Escape Azkaban (Bellatrix Lestrange)

XI. How to Continue Life as a Free, Happy, and Faithful Death Eater (Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange)

**V. How to Attend to the Dark Lord's Every Need**

Welcome to this new chapter, **How to Attend to the Dark Lord's Every Need. **We will be discussing the primary needs/wants of the Dark Lord.

There are few things that he'll want you to do for him, for example:

**1. Put an Imperius curse on so-and-so for control over something.**

**2. Torture some Aurour to death, etc.**

Things he will mainly ask you to do involve murdering some one, most of the time, or locating Harry Potter.

You don't want to disobey the Dark Lord. It will indefinitely cost you your life, so don't even try it.

If you succeed, he will give you rewards or a higher position in his congregation. If you fail, the results could be as harsh as death.

So try your best to obey him at all costs.

Fenrir Greyback will be teaching you in this next chapter.

Lucius Malfoy, signing out.


	6. How To Capture and Bind Prisoners

**Contents:**

(Parentheses indicate who your narrator for the listed chapter will be/ bold print is the chapter you're on)

**I. Admissions/Goals (Lucius Malfoy)**

II. Dark Mark Care (Bellatrix Lestrange)

III. Muggle/Mudblood Slaughter Preparations (Bellatrix Lestrange)

IV. Wand Polishing (Lucius Malfoy)

V. How To Attend to the Dark Lord's Every Need (Lucius Malfoy)

VI. How to Properly Capture and Bind Prisoners (Guest Narrator Fenrir Greyback)

VII. Cruciatus Curse Usage (Bellatrix Lestrange)

VIII. Impeirus Curse Usage (Guest Narrator Draco Malfoy)

IX. How to Capture, not Kill Harry Potter (Guest Narrator Severus Snape)

X. How to Escape Azkaban (Bellatrix Lestrange)

XI. How to Continue Life as a Free, Happy, and Faithful Death Eater (Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange)

**VI. How to Properly Capture and Bind Prisoners**

Bellatrix: Oh, how lovely! We've got a guest speaker here!

Fenrir Greyback comes, grudgingly, into the chamber.

Greyback: The only reason I'm here is so Voldemort doesn't kill me.

Bellatrix: YOU DARE SPEAK THE DARK LORD'S NAME???

Lucius: Bella, calm down, calm down; at least it's him saying it rather than stupid half-breed Remus Lupin…

Bellatrix: Well…it is still insulting for the Dark Lord's name to be spoken by some stupid werewolf!!

Greyback: Yeah, yeah, shut up, I've got a class to teach.

Greyback turns to face crowd.

Hello peoples. Well, before I'm rudely interrupted by Bellatrix again, I'd better give you this lesson and make it snappy.

I'm supposed to be teaching you how to capture prisoners, right? Alright then. I wonder why Bella and Lucius have given me such a lame chapter to cover, but, ah well.

The first thing you'll want to know is that the name "Voldemort" is currently tabooed, and I'm very surprised that they didn't catch me for it earlier…

Random Death Eater: There he is!!

Oh, snap; hold up for a sec.

Greyback beats the heck out of some random Death Eaters and returns to his class.

Yeah, yeah, as I was saying…the Dark Lord's name is tabooed. Anyone who says it will be found immediately and be captured by Death Eaters, or, yours truly.

Capturing the prisoners are simple; if you're a wizard, try putting the Full-Body Bind curse on them (just chant the words _Petrificus Totalus, _for you beginning little Dark Lord supporters who haven't went to school yet). Or, if you don't have a wand and currently have tremendous physical abilities, like myself, attack your target before they can react or utter a jinx, hex, or any other spell that could have lasting damage.

After your prisoner is caught, you're going to want to tie them up nice and tight, just so they don't get away. Gag them, and put them in something—oh a dirty laundry back perhaps, maybe with either Dawlish or Yaxley's old socks in them…oh well; just put them in something. Take them back to Malfoy Manor, and if the Dark Lord doesn't want to do away with the prisoners himself, then you can kill, torture, or take the possessions of your captives; no releasing them, however.

Greyback: Well, I'm sick of teaching this stupid class; Bella, it's time for your chapter now. Fenrir Greyback is out—goodbye and good riddance.

**--------------------------**

**I am very sorry, all, for not have released any chapters as of late; homework's been tying me up and I haven't found time to update. I'm going to have chapter 7 up, and maybe even 8 or 9 (I'm not pushing 10, I don't think) by the end of the day. :3**

**Toodles**


	7. Cruciatus Curse Usage

The Death Eater Training Guide

**Contents:**

(Parentheses indicate who your narrator for the listed chapter will be/ bold print is the chapter you're on)

I. Admissions/Goals (Lucius Malfoy)

II. Dark Mark Care (Bellatrix Lestrange)

III. Muggle/Mudblood Slaughter Preparations (Bellatrix Lestrange)

IV. Wand Polishing (Lucius Malfoy)

V. How To Attend to the Dark Lord's Every Need (Lucius Malfoy)

VI. How to Properly Capture and Bind Prisoners (Guest Narrator Fenrir Greyback)

**VII. Cruciatus Curse Usage (Bellatrix Lestrange)**

VIII. Impeirus Curse Usage (Guest Narrator Draco Malfoy)

IX. How to Capture, not Kill Harry Potter (Guest Narrator Severus Snape)

X. How to Escape Azkaban (Bellatrix Lestrange)

XI. How to Continue Life as a Free, Happy, and Faithful Death Eater (Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange)

**VII. Cruciatus Curse Usage**

Well now--I hope you all had fun learning how to capture people with the stupid werewolf. I swear, if we ever make a second edition copy of this, I will _so _ask the publisher to not let Greyback narrate for this book! Stupid werewolf. Oh well, I think I should focus on the subject at hand.

Since I'm starting off usasage of Unforgivable Curses, I might as well tell you a little bit about each, but little Draco Malfoy will give you more in-depth details about the Imperius curse.

There are three unforgiveable curses--The Cruciatus Curse, the Imperius Curse, and the Killing Curse. These three spells are the main assests of any Death Eater's spell repitoire. They are also very useful against Aurors, as well. Most Death Eaters rarely use any other curse besides those three, thought Stunning Spells are used quite frequently also.

The Cruciatus Curse is a torture curse. There are two ways it can be used;

1) Cast the spell on your target.

2) Cast the spell on another living creature and force your enemy to watch them suffer (any good Order of the Phoenix member can't stand to see others suffer, so they might be at your mercy by using this option).

When you use the Cruciatus Curse, you have to _mean _it. You can't just _say _it. It works better if you're using it on someone you really want to torture, that you really want to hurt.

The Killing Curse allows you to take the lives of other witches, wizards, Mudbloods, or Muggles. It might be one of the easiest curses to cast from the three unforgivables.

Well, that's enough on this topic. Next chapter you've got a whiny little boy telling you about the Imperius Curse and some cocky ex-Potions teacher telling you about how to keep a watchful eye on Mr. Harry Potter and not seem suspicious or lose your cool. Until chapter ten, folks!

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**I apologize for not updating in so long. But I promise you, this WILL be a finished fanfic--I'll finish it eventually!!!! **

**Sayanora**


	8. Imperius Curse Usage

The Death Eater Training Guide

**Contents:**

(Parentheses indicate who your narrator for the listed chapter will be/ bold print is the chapter you're on)

I. Admissions/Goals (Lucius Malfoy)

II. Dark Mark Care (Bellatrix Lestrange)

III. Muggle/Mudblood Slaughter Preparations (Bellatrix Lestrange)

IV. Wand Polishing (Lucius Malfoy)

V. How To Attend to the Dark Lord's Every Need (Lucius Malfoy)

VI. How to Properly Capture and Bind Prisoners (Guest Narrator Fenrir Greyback)

VII. Cruciatus Curse Usage (Bellatrix Lestrange)

**VIII. Impeirus Curse Usage (Guest Narrator Draco Malfoy)**

IX. How to Capture, not Kill Harry Potter (Guest Narrator Severus Snape)

X. How to Escape Azkaban (Bellatrix Lestrange)

XI. How to Continue Life as a Free, Happy, and Faithful Death Eater (Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange)

**VIII. Imperious Curse Usage**

Lucius: Draco! It's time for your chapter.

Draco: Dad! I don't _want _to narrate a chapter of this book! Please don't make me!

Lucius: Draco. grabs Draco by shoulders Son, it's my life on the line here. Do you _want _your father to be killed?

Draco: No dad.

Lucius: Then you will get out there and tell them about how to proper Imperius Curse.

Draco: sniff okay, dad.

Draco walks into text

Um...hi. I'm Draco Malfoy, and I'm going to tell you about how to use an Imperius Curse. I might not be as outgoing and easy to laugh at as Auntie Bella is, I might not be as good at explaining things as my dad is, and I'm _definitely _not as tough as Greyback; but I hope you can get something or the other out of my lesson.

So, um...I'm supposed to teach you about the Imperius Curse, right? Well, for starters, you need to say the spell _Imperio _for anything at all to work. That's obvious (hey, I think I'm getting a little bit more used to this now!). The Imperius Curse is used to control anyone of your choice. You can use them for anything you wish. I placed this same curse on Rosmerta, owner of The Three Broomsticks so I could use her as a pawn to get to Dumbledore.

The Imperius Curse is difficult to throw off--the only person I've seen throw off the entire curse was stupid old Potter. Oh well.

Um, Dad--is there anything else about the Imperius Curse I might want to tell them? Silence. Okay then, any questions? Cricket, cricket. Okay then. Professor Snape will be telling you about how to spy on Potter, and then my Auntie Bella will be back to tell you how to escape Azkaban (I don't want to msis that one!).

Bye all!!!

------------------

**Yay! I got chapters 7 & 8 up all in one day! Woo! I'm on a roll!**

**TTYL**


	9. How to Capture not Kill Harry Potter

The Death Eater Training Guide

**Contents:**

(Parentheses indicate who your narrator for the listed chapter will be/ bold print is the chapter you're on)

I. Admissions/Goals (Lucius Malfoy)

II. Dark Mark Care (Bellatrix Lestrange)

III. Muggle/Mudblood Slaughter Preparations (Bellatrix Lestrange)

IV. Wand Polishing (Lucius Malfoy)

V. How To Attend to the Dark Lord's Every Need (Lucius Malfoy)

VI. How to Properly Capture and Bind Prisoners (Guest Narrator Fenrir Greyback)

VII. Cruciatus Curse Usage (Bellatrix Lestrange)

VIII. Impeirus Curse Usage (Guest Narrator Draco Malfoy)

**IX. How to Capture, not Kill Harry Potter (Guest Narrator Severus Snape)**

X. How to Escape Azkaban (Bellatrix Lestrange)

XI. How to Continue Life as a Free, Happy, and Faithful Death Eater (Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange)

**IX. How to Capture, no Kill Harry Potter**

Snape: Hello everyone. I've been forced against my will (yes, I'm glaring at _you, _Lucius!) to narrate this ninth chapter. I have more important things to do (maybe help place the Imperius Curse on Pius Thicknesse?).

Well, since I'm telling you how to capture instead of kill Harry Potter, I suppose I'd better tell you.

Okay, for starters, you protect Potter when someone is trying to hex or curse him. I know that sounds strange, but Quirrell tried to kill Harry in his first year, and it was up to me to cast the countercurse. But, I must give credit where credit is due, though--if it weren't for Miss Granger setting my cloak on fire, even my countercurse would've been overpowered by Quirrell's spell.

You need to try to keep him out of life-threatening situations (unless they're enduced by the Dark Lord). I know it sounds like you're trying to protect him more than anything, but, if you've got the right attitude, you'll turn the live Harry Potter over to the Dark Lord.

But, hey--you can still have fun giving him detentions or giving him impossible homework assignments if you happen to be his teacher.

You might want to try spying on him also. **Extendable Ears **(availabe at _Weasley's Wizard Wheezes_) are good for eavesdropping. You need to also try to lure Harry into some sort of trap so he will go to the Dark Lord, like Barty Crouch Jr. did by turning the Triwizard Cup into a Portkey. (I have to say that he did a good job--no denying it)

There truly isn't much to say on this subject. I'll leave the rest of the guide to Bellatrix and Lucius. But I do wonder, are Greyback, Draco and I coming back for the last chapter? Hmm...I'd better ask the editor about this,

Goodbye, all.

-----------------------

**Chapter 9 down. Only 2 chapters left. 0.0 Wow. Never thought I'd make it this far!!!**

**Ouva (or however you spell that!)**


	10. How to Escape Azkaban

The Death Eater Training Guide

**Contents:**

(Parentheses indicate who your narrator for the listed chapter will be/ bold print is the chapter you're on)

I. Admissions/Goals (Lucius Malfoy)

II. Dark Mark Care (Bellatrix Lestrange)

III. Muggle/Mudblood Slaughter Preparations (Bellatrix Lestrange)

IV. Wand Polishing (Lucius Malfoy)

V. How To Attend to the Dark Lord's Every Need (Lucius Malfoy)

VI. How to Properly Capture and Bind Prisoners (Guest Narrator Fenrir Greyback)

VII. Cruciatus Curse Usage (Bellatrix Lestrange)

VIII. Impeirus Curse Usage (Guest Narrator Draco Malfoy)

IX. How to Capture, not Kill Harry Potter (Guest Narrator Severus Snape)

**X. How to Escape Azkaban (Bellatrix Lestrange)**

XI. How to Continue Life as a Free, Happy, and Faithful Death Eater (Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange)

**X. How to Escape Azkaban**

(Bellatrix comes into text cakcling loudly)

Hello everyone--did ya miss your favorite psychotic narrator? Well, I hope you did, because I have one heck of a chapter for you! (smiles broadly and pulls Sirius and Barty Crouch Jr. into the room)

Barty Jr: Ugh--Bella, you're so annoying.

Sirius: Well, hello dearest cousin--long time no see.

Bellatrix: Oh shut it boys! Since I wanted the last individual chapter to be a blowout, I brought you three here to explain about how you got out of Azkaban.

Sirius: Last individual chapter of what?

Bellatrix: (thinking fast) _The Most Amazing Feats of the Wizarding World._

Sirius: Works for me. Who's going to start?

Bellatrix: You can.

Sirius: Okay, this is what I did:

I, being an unregistered Animagus, turned into my dog appearance. Since dementors can only pick up on human emotions, I managed to run out the door when they delivered my food. It was that easy.

Bellatrix: your turn, Barty.

Barty Jr: Okay, mine is a little more complicated. Me and my mother were bothing in the same Azkaban cell. My mother was dying. She wanted me to escape Azkaban, so be both cooked up a Polyjuice potion, and siwtched appearances. Since I was disguised as my dying mother, I was set free because of, _hem, hem, _"health conditions". My mother died a couple of days later in my appearance.

Bellatrix: All I did was wait until the Death Eaters infiltrated the Ministry and commanded dementors to let me escape.

Sirius: So..this chapter is shorter than you'd have liked?

Bellatrix: Yes, a little. So, how have you been faring lately? Did you move into Grimmauld Place?

Sirius: Yes, I did. You still crashing with the Dark Lord?

Bellatrix: Very kind of him to open up his home to me, right?

Sirius: How is Rudolphus taking this?

Bellatrix: He's not even caring, really.

Sirius: Oh...

Barty Jr: (amidst the talking of Bella and Sirius) well, since these two long-lost relatives are just gonna keep talking and not even bother to close out, I suppose that'll be my job. Bella and Lucius will see you in the next and final chapter. Bye!! 

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**Whoop, whoop! Chapter 10 up tonight, too!!! Well, since I have time, I'll try to get chapter 11 up tonight, as well, and (hopefully) the first chapter of my newest Kingdom Hearts fanfiction, **_**Kingdom Hearts: Ultra PLATINUM. **_

**Chow**


	11. How to Live Free and Happy

The Death Eater Training Guide

**Contents:**

(Parentheses indicate who your narrator for the listed chapter will be/ bold print is the chapter you're on)

I. Admissions/Goals (Lucius Malfoy)

II. Dark Mark Care (Bellatrix Lestrange)

III. Muggle/Mudblood Slaughter Preparations (Bellatrix Lestrange)

IV. Wand Polishing (Lucius Malfoy)

V. How To Attend to the Dark Lord's Every Need (Lucius Malfoy)

VI. How to Properly Capture and Bind Prisoners (Guest Narrator Fenrir Greyback)

VII. Cruciatus Curse Usage (Bellatrix Lestrange)

VIII. Impeirus Curse Usage (Guest Narrator Draco Malfoy)

IX. How to Capture, not Kill Harry Potter (Guest Narrator Severus Snape)

X. How to Escape Azkaban (Bellatrix Lestrange)

**XI. How to Continue Life as a Free, Happy, and Faithful Death Eater (Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange)**

**XI. How to Continue Life as a Free, Happy, and Faithful Death Eater**

Bellatrix: I'm sorry to say, but this is the final chapter of the _Death Eater Training Guide. _We hope you've enjoyed our courses in how to become a Death Eater in 11 simple chapters. I hope Lucius, Greyback, Draco, Severus, and I did well in narrating.

Lucius: This chapter talks about how to live as a free, happy, and faithful Death Eater. To be free, you need to fight your hardest to please the Dark Lord and not get captured by the Order of the Phoenix.

Bellatrix: To be happy, you need to do everything mentioned in the last ten chapters perfectly, so you won't upset the Dark Lord.

Lucius: and to be faithful, you need to stick at the Dark Lord's side no matter what. The Dark Lord loves your faith.

Bellatrix: I hope you enjoyed learning how to become a Death Eater. If you want to try to become one, go to Lucius's office in the Ministry of Magic and he'll be happy to convert you into a Dumbledore-following wizard into a Dark Lord-supporting one.

Lucius: I've enjoyed helping narrating this book. We'll see you in the future.

Bellatrix: and hopefully in a second edition of this book!

Lucius and Bellatrix: Bye!!!

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**YAY! My first finished fanfic!!! Review please!  
**

**Toodles! **


End file.
